24 June 2010.

My father death anniversary. this is his 21st years. for the past ten years, i will always go down and pay my respect to him without fail. but this year i could not make it down. thou there is a valid reason for not going. but still i feel disappointed in myself. thou he has left us for so long, but still there are still times when i still miss him. he may not have been the best one, he may not have done his part as a father, but nevertheless he always stay in my heart. maybe none of of my step sibling remember him, my own sister does not remember. maybe he is glad that i still remember him. i was not his favourite one when he is ard. i know i am still not one now. but it no longer matter to me now. no matter how much he let us down, at the end of it, i know we are always related by blood.
without him i will not be ard. but many times, i wished i was not even ard. if my life is going to be so tedious, then why am i still holding on?

22 June 2010
my birthday today. had enjoy myself. this year was a much simpler one. first time i celebrated my birthday in such a simple manner. past years was always with groups of people. but nevertheless, simple was a totally new experience. i guess it is the peace within the whole event. the kind of peace where money cant buy. the peace is then the priceless. thou there is no big groups. but it is the company that counts in the end. i am always bliss to have close friend to be with me on my birthday. at least i know blessing comes from the bottom of their heart. oh ya, i have watched the sunrise with my godson. been a long time since i watch one. and i am thankful for the company and time. during that short few hours, i have learn a lot of things. and understood a lot of meanings behind it. and it all thanks to my godson. a simple and yet memorable one... wat more can i asked for.... :)